For many people, dating can feel like a series of high-stress job interviews. A good dating strategy can help reduce the emotional ups and downs that can come with dating, and even lead to long-term relationship success.
Developing your own dating strategy requires some thought and planning. For example, you can use your online profile to highlight the attributes that are most important for you in a partner (such as height, which instrument you play, or an impressive achievement), what game theorists call “separating strategies.”
It’s also helpful to consider the context where you meet potential partners. For example, a nightclub may be an ideal place to pursue short-term mating strategies, because it facilitates anonymity and prioritizes cues of sexual access and fertility. Conversely, a speed-dating event or blind date set up through friends is likely to be a more suitable setting for pursuing long-term relationships.
A well-developed dating strategy can also help you avoid behaviors that are harmful for relationships. For example, men who are too focused on building comfort and not enough attraction risk landing themselves in the friendzone. Women who are too polite and nice without a sexual charge run the risk of becoming an orbiter—a person who circles around you with ulterior motives.
It’s also helpful to acknowledge that sometimes dating fails, even when you have a sound strategy. A rejection from a prospective partner can leave you feeling depressed and disappointed. However, understanding that dating is a process can help you manage these disappointments and get back on track to your ultimate goal.